


And Then Again

by jessi_08



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-10-05
Packaged: 2019-01-09 06:03:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12270381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessi_08/pseuds/jessi_08
Summary: Tobin's been through a lot in her short life. She's learned a lot along the way, especially from those closest to her.





	And Then Again

First, there was Alex, and everything Tobin thought she knew went up in flames.

Tobin loved the fall fair their town put on every year. She didn’t like that it marked the end of summer but it also marked her first weekend home for most of the summer, so Tobin loved being home every year for the fair. 

“Tobin, hurry up,” Perry shouted as Tobin lagged behind their family. Tobin jogged to catch up with them, Perry slinging an arm around her shoulders. “Home for less than a day and already daydreaming.”

“I wasn’t daydreaming,” Tobin defended through a chuckle.

“Sure, you weren’t thinking about a ball at your feet already. I  _ so _ believe you.” Perry smiled as Tobin rolled her eyes. 

“I swear, I was just taking the town in again.”

“Oh come on Tobs, we all know this place is never going to be enough to hold you here.”

“You never know.” Tobin smiled at her sister before falling into line beside her parents. “Anyway, the only place in the world to find Rotary chicken dinners this good, is right here.” Tobin grinned and Perry laughed, nodding.

“Sure, the one time you come home every year is for the chicken dinner.”

“You gotta admit, it’s really good,” their father said, poking Perry in the ribs.

“I wasn’t denying it, it’s the only good thing about summer being over.”

“That’s too true,” Tobin said smiling. Tobin leaned into Perry’s side and felt her hat being tugged off her head. “Per, knock it off.” 

“What?” Perry asked and suddenly Tobin’s hat was gone.

“Per!” Tobin shouted and faced her confused sister, “My hat!”

“I didn’t take it,” Perry said and Tobin turned around, spotting the person she had wanted to see all summer sprinting away from her. Tobin laughed and jumped the barrier for the line and ran after them.

“Tobin! It’s just a dumb hat.” She heard Perry shout back at her.

“It’s  _ my _ dumb hat though.” Tobin raced down the sidewalk and turned down the alley that the person had ducked into. As soon as she stepped into the alley, she found her back against the brick wall.

“ _ You _ were supposed to come over last night.” The voice accused.

“Sorry Alex, I got stuck on a delayed flight. I tried to text but my phone died.” 

Alex smiled, shaking her head. “And this morning?”

“I texted you! Y’know, the picture from my window?” Tobin asked, “I thought you were just mad and that’s why you didn’t reply.”

“I never got it,” Alex said as Tobin pulled her phone out. Her cheeks flared red as Alex took it from her. “Tobin… you do know you have to hit ‘send’, right?”

“I thought I did!” Tobin whined, Alex leaned up and kissed her, getting her to stop pouting.

“I’m glad you’re home,” Alex said, placing Tobin’s hat back on her head. Tobin wrapped her arms around Alex, smiling down at her. 

“Yeah?” 

“Totally.” Alex pushed in for another kiss as she pinned Tobin against the wall. 

It was nearly twenty minutes later when Tobin sauntered up to the table her family was sitting at. Jeff looked at her before pulling her into a side hug, shuffling her hat around. 

“All that for a hat?” he said loudly, laughing. “You’ve got lipstick,” he whispered into her ear as she laughed. Tobin quickly wiped her mouth and Jeff gave a nod before sitting back down at the table.

“Man, I  _ love _ Fall Fair,” Tobin said, grinning as she opened her chicken dinner.

  
  
  


Then, there was Kelley and Tobin got scared.

Tobin loved Kelley, she really did. Kelley was always there to get into trouble with, and always had a scheme ready. 

Kelley leaned over and kissed Tobin's shoulder as Tobin sat on the edge of the bed. She felt Tobin tense up and sat up, moving next to her.

“Hey,” Kelley said softly, pulling Tobin’s attention up to her, “talk to me.” Kelley saw the unshed tears in Tobin’s eyes. She wiped them away before pulling Tobin into a hug.

“I can’t do this,” Tobin whispered and Kelley nodded. 

“Tobin, you know it’s ok, right? We are friends and we had some fun after a win…”

“Kelley, I can’t be gay,” Tobin whispered and Kelley sat back a little, “I just can’t.”

“Tobin,” Kelley said a little harshly, “there is nothing wrong with being gay.” 

“No, there isn’t. Unless you follow God.” Kelley’s jaw dropped. 

“You think I was raised in the good ole south and wasn’t in church every Sunday?” Kelley asked earning a small smile for her antics.

“Kell, it’s different.”

“Get up,” Kelley said, standing up, handing Tobin's shirt to her.

“Why?”

“Because we are going to church,” Kelley said as Tobin pulled on her shirt.

“Kelley, I really don’t feel like going.”

“I know, that’s why we are.” Kelly pulled Tobin to her feet and handed Tobin her pants.

“Kell, we seriously—”

“Shut up Tobin. God isn’t going to care that we banged it out last night, nor is he going to care that we just had this whole talk, naked.” Kelley pulled her own pants back on. “So get dressed, cause the cops, on the other hand,  _ do _ care if we go to church naked.”

x-x-x

Tobin’s leg bounced up and down, she shifted back and forth in the pew. Her palms were sweating and her stomach was doing full on NASA G-force testing.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Tobin whispered to Kelley.

“Did the Holy Water burn when you genuflected?”

“No?”

“Then your ass stays in that seat, where He wants you.”

“Great, in one spot to strike me down without a problem,” Tobin mumbled.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“That’s what I thought.” Tobin watched as the priest walked toward the front. He laid his notes down before offering a smile that seemed sad, almost disappointed.

“I was approached this week, by a young woman, a child still, who had shared a story of hate. Hate from my own congregation. I’ll admit I was deeply saddened by this. God does not want us to hate. He did not make us to hate.” The priest said as he walked down toward the pews, moving to stand in front of each section, making sure everyone was paying attention to his words. 

“God placed Adam and Eve in the Garden, naked and this was fine, till Eve broke God’s heart and ate the snake’s apple, learning shame. Imagine for a moment being God, and the work of art you created was horrified and deeply ashamed of how she looked, how God made her look, and how she felt. Now don't’ get me wrong, shame has a very important role in our society. You should feel shame over hurting others, stealing, lying, murder… you should never be ashamed of how you look, or what you feel, or who you love.” He raised his hands in the air calming the congregations' whispers down. “Now, now now. We have all been raised with the saying, ‘love thy neighbor.’ There is no ‘only if’ or ‘but’ it is just ‘love thy neighbor.’ So I ask this of you all, if you cannot please do not return to my church. My flock is my flock no matter what, as long as they do not harm others. Harming includes shaming. I know this is not comfortable for some of you, but let me ask this ‘Does God make mistakes?’” He lets the question hang for a moment. “Let us pray.”

x-x-x

Kelley glanced over at Tobin as she walked into their room, unsure how to approach her after their morning.

“Hey,” she finally said as Tobin laid down on the bed next to her.

“Hey.”

“Feeling any better from this morning?” Tobin looked up at her.

“I’m still here, aren’t I?” Tobin asked wincing at her own tone. Kelley smiled, hugging Tobin.

“You are.”

  
  
  


Then there was Whitney and Tobin felt horrible.

Living with Whitney was a dream, she kept to herself most the time, but also made sure Tobin went to classes, ate right, never missed practice. Whitney had a long-term relationship with some guy from her high school who was in another college. Tobin had met him before, he was nice enough. Whitney was also best friend’s with Ash, Tobin loved having Ash around.

Sometimes though, Tobin wished she had learned more about Whitney. Like tonight, knowing her favorite comfort food and junk food might be helpful.

The nice-enough boy had broken Whitney’s heart and Tobin hated him. Tobin laid on Whitney’s bed holding the woman as her cried muffled against her shoulder. Tobin also wanted to kick Ash’s ass for not answering her phone. She tried to make do. Putting on one of those movies Whitney seemed to enjoy, she owned it at least. Then she tucked Whitney into bed with a box of tissues. She ordered their favorite take out and just tried to be there for her.

“Can I get anything else for you?” Tobin asked, running a hand through Whitney’s hair. 

“No.” Whitney sniffled, she looked up at Tobin.

Tobin nearly jumped out of the bed when Whitney kissed her. Tobin glanced up at Whitney, noticing the storm brewing in her eyes.

“Whit...” Tobin said softly. 

“Why did you back away?” Whitney asked in a small voice. Her confidence waning with every passing moment. Tobin moved back to the bed, wrapping an arm around Whitney. 

“Whit, you are my friend and you are hurting and confused. I don’t want to confuse or hurt you any more than you are.”

“Don’t tell me what I—”

“I’m not. I’m also looking out for myself but I didn’t want to sound selfish.” Tobin offered a small smile. She watched as Whitney began to crumble again.

“I’m sorry, Tobs.” 

Tobin chuckled and pulled Whitney closer. “Don’t be,” Tobin said softly, “now let’s finish our movie.” A few hours later Ash came bounding into their room with Whit’s favorite meal from the burger place down the road. Whitney gave Tobin a sympathetic look as Ash basically shooed Tobin out.

“You need anything, call. I’ll be at Allie’s.” Tobin left, she knew Whitney was in capable hands and everything would be ok.

  
  
  


Then there was Ash. 

They weren’t drinking. They weren’t under any influence. They weren't celebrating a win. They weren't mourning a loss. It was just a normal Wednesday night and Tobin was crashed out on Ash’s couch.

Tobin’s not even sure how it started. Ash’s hand on her knee. Tobin leaned into Ash’s side. Ash putting an arm around Tobin. Quickly Tobin found herself shirtless under Ash on the couch. 

“Ash…” Tobin panted as Ash sat back pulling her own shirt over her head.

“Friends, do this all the time, right?” Ash questioned and Tobin shrugged. The last person she kissed was Whitney, which was weird. The last person she slept with was Kelley, over a year ago. “I’ll stop if you want me to.”

“No,” Tobin said surprising even herself, but when Ash kissed her again, she smiled into it. 

x-x-x

Tobin whined when she woke up, everything had a dull ache to it. 

Ash elbowed her in the ribs. “Hush,” Ash said and Tobin shoved at Ash’s side.

“We slept together, dipshit.” Tobin snapped back at Ash who opened her eyes.

“Yeah? That’s ok, right?” Ash asked, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. Tobin thought about it for a moment. It wasn’t the first time she messed around with a friend, that started with Kelley. All the insecurities she’d felt that time were gone however. 

“Dude, you’re like family,” Tobin finally said making Ash laugh loudly. 

“You didn’t complain last night, at all.” Ash pointed out and Tobin shrugged, “we cool?”

“Yeah, we are.” Ash sighed and laid back down next to Tobin.

“You don’t want to cuddle, do you?”

“You’re pushing it, Ash.” Tobin grumbled as Ash cuddled into her side anyway.

“So… was it good?” Ash asked a smirk on her lips.

“Jesus,” Tobin groaned, “Yes. You wanna know? It was.” Ash laughed but was pretty pleased with herself. “Oh god, this is going to stroke your ego.” Tobin climbed over Ash getting out of bed.

“Where are you going?” Ash asked as Tobin pulled her shorts on. 

“Away from you.” Tobin walked into the bathroom connected to Ash’s room. She looked in the mirror and gasped. “You fucking bit me!” 

“Damn, Tobin, yell any louder?” Allie asked as she opened her own door to the bathroom. “Holy shit.” Allie walked over to Tobin, looking at the amount of marks on the woman’s torso and neck. “Didn’t know you were that kinky, Har.” She smirked.

“Shut up, Allie.” Tobin groaned. 

“Wait, did you  _ actually  _ hook up with Ash?” Allie squeaked and Tobin groaned again as Ash laughed from the bedroom. “Oh my god, that was you last night? I’m never going to unhear that!” Allie shouted dramatically storming back into her room.

  
  
  


Then there was Shirley and Tobin figured out what love was.

Meeting Shirley was like seeing in color for the first time. Tobin knew of the strong Costa Rican woman who was tearing up the pitch for Lyon and PSG. Yet, when they met and Tobin crashed on her couch for a week to see if PSG was where she wanted to be, Tobin wasn’t ready for everything that followed.

Tobin pulled Shirley closer as she yawned, she kissed the woman’s neck. 

“Good morning, my love,” Tobin said as Shirley slowly woke up, burying her face in Tobin’s neck.

“It’s too early to get up,” Shirley sighed and Tobin smiled. She leaned down and kissed Shirley. Tobin pinned the smaller woman to the bed. 

“Who said anything about getting up?”

x-x-x

Shirley walked up to Tobin, placing a light kiss to the mark she had accidentally left on the woman the day before. 

“Lunch is almost ready, how was the meeting?” Tobin asked as she faced Shirley. Shirley kissed Tobin, running a hand through the woman’s hair. 

“It went as well as expected.” Shirley smiled, stealing a piece of stir-fry from the pan. “You’re too good to me,” Shirley said as Tobin shook her head.

“No such thing as ‘too good’ for someone like you.” Tobin watched as Shirley pulled plates out for them to eat. Tobin plated their food and carried it over to the table for them. “Babe,” Tobin said softly, gaining Shirley’s attention.

“What’s wrong, Tobin?” Shirley asked, noticing the worry on Tobin’s face.

“I wanted to talk to you about this first but... I’ve been approached by Portland.” Shirley just stared at Tobin, her face not giving anything away. “I’ve talked to the staff here… there is a chance they won’t offer me a new contract.” 

“Bullshit Tobin,” Shirley said, tears welling up in her eyes. 

“Shirley, I’ll stay if you want me to.”

“Of course I want you to! But you want to go. I don’t want to hold you back from something you want.” Shirley admitted and Tobin sighed.

“I want to help the league…”

“You’ve made your choice, haven't you?” Shirley asked and Tobin sighed again, but nodded. 

“I’m going to help them start and build the league, but I’ll be back here for next season… I’m going to finish my contract here.”

“Then you’re going back there to stay?”

“I don’t know yet. If PSG offers me another contract, I’ll come back.”

“If they don’t?”

“I’ll visit.” Tobin moved so she was sitting as close to Shirley as possible. She cupped the woman’s cheek and kissed her softly. “I’ll be here as often as I can be.” 

“I don’t know if I can do this Tobin… I don’t know if I can do long distance.” 

“Shirley, tell me to stay,” Tobin said. Shirley waited a beat, then another, giving Tobin hope that Shirley would ask her to stay and they could figure everything out. 

“I can’t do that either Tobin. I can’t do the distance, I’m happy here I’m not going to leave…”

“We can try,” Tobin begged and Shirley looked up at her, eyes sunken in. 

“I don’t think I can.” Shirley got up and walked to the bedroom, leaving Tobin alone at the table. Tobin covered her face with her hands, trying not to cry. 

  
  
  


Then there was Alex again. And Tobin had never felt more empty.

Alex was tipsy. She wasn’t drunk, but she was tipsy. Tipsy Alex also meant handsy Alex. Tobin kept a hand on Alex’s back as they walked out of the bar, the cool fall air filling their lungs. Alex leaned into Tobin’s side as they walked behind their friends. A bar crawl wasn't the best idea in Tobin’s mind for a bachelorette party, but she wasn’t going to argue.

“Don’t let me drink at the next place,” Alex said and Tobin smiled down at her. 

“Ok, Lex.” Tobin wrapped an arm around her now. “Maybe we should get those mini burritos you like?” 

Alex nodded against Tobin’s shoulder. 

“Are you having fun?” Tobin asked.

“Yeah, I’m just thinking.”

“About?”

“If this is the right thing to do?” Tobin stopped and Alex turned to face her.

“Alex, you love Servando.”

“Yeah, but at one point in my life, I loved you too.” Alex looked down at her feet, shuffling them back and forth on the cement. “I still might.”

“Alex, who do you see coming home to? Who do you want kids with?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“You need to figure it out.” Suddenly Alex was kissing her. Tobin stepped back, keeping her hands on Alex’s shoulders to keep her at bay.

“That’s not what I meant,” Tobin said calmly.

“Please Tobin, one more night.” Alex plead and Tobin groaned.

“Hey, Kell!” Tobin shouted up to their friends. “Alex isn’t feeling well. I’m going to take her home.” Kelley gave her a thumbs up back.

“I guess they forgot why we were out in the first place.” Alex joked earning a laugh from Tobin. They walked hand in hand back to Tobin’s apartment. As soon as the door shut, Alex was kissing Tobin. Tobin pulled Alex’s shirt over her head and walked her back to the bedroom. 

x-x-x

Tobin sighed as she ran a hand through Alex’s hair. The younger woman's head on her chest. Neither of them had said a word since they’d woken up well over an hour ago.

“Tobin?”

“Hmm?”

“What happened between you and Shirley?” Tobin froze. They had broken up, in the spring, and had barely spoken since.

“She decided she couldn’t do long distance.” Alex stayed quiet, mulling over what happened between her best friend and the woman she loved. 

“Are you ok?” Alex asked softly and Tobin hesitated. She hadn’t put much thought into it.

“No, but I will be,” Tobin said honestly. “Alex... you need to go back to Servando..” Tobin felt Alex stiffen a bit, so she kissed the top of her head. “You love him, and you should marry him. I know you love me too but it’s not the same.”

“I do love you.”

“Alex, he’s right for you. I’ll always be your friend.”

“Ok,” Alex said. She looked up at Tobin, cupping her cheek. “I’m sorry Tobin.” Alex kissed Tobin once more before getting up. Tobin grabbed her arm and Alex looked back at her.

“I’m not,” Tobin said and Alex gave her a small smile. She let Alex go and just like that Alex was gone. Tobin laid back against the pillows and sighed. Maybe they had made a mistake, maybe they hadn’t. They might never know. 

All Tobin knew as she wasn’t in love with Alex anymore. She loved her, but as a friend. She was pulled from her thoughts when her phone binged at her. Tobin groaned as she reached for her jeans over the side of the bed. She had expected it to be Kelley or Allie asking how Alex was this morning. Instead, it was a single word. ‘Hey’. Tobin flopped back against the bed, a reply would have to wait, they could wait. 

  
  
  


Then there was Servando, and Tobin felt oddly secure.

Tobin laughed as Allie tried to push a drunk Kelley off her lap.

“Alright, Alright. Off of poor Allie,” Alex said through her own laughter. Allie glared hard at Alex as Kelley practically skipped back to her seat.

“You two think you are so smooth, sharing secrets before giving Kelley a dare,” Allie growled as Batti put his arm around her shoulders.

“Shaking in my boots over here,” Servando joked.

“Good, cause it’s for you. Kiss Tobin.” Allie snapped and Tobin stared at Allie.

“What?” Tobin asked as Servando moved to her side. He pulled Tobin to her feet, wrapping an arm around her back. 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Servando whispered and Tobin smiled a little, Alex sure picked a good one.

“It’s just a game, right?” Servando nodded and kissed Tobin. Tobin kissed him back. When they broke apart Tobin laughed patting his chest.

“Alright, those two deserve shots,” Kelley said, pouring two shots out for them. They toasted each other before downing them. Servando looked at Tobin and raised an eyebrow.

“So, truth. How was it?” He smirked.

“You’re the first guy I’ve kissed so… I don’t know about that, but if that was my first kiss as a kid… you wouldn’t have disappointed me?” Servando grinned as Dom gave him a fist bump. “But!” Tobin said regaining attention, “your wife is a better kisser.” The room came roaring to life with laughter. Servando himself laughed.

“Yeah, that’s for sure.” He smiled, patting Tobin’s back. 

“Ok, Tobin, who’s next?” Syd asked leaning back into Dom. Tobin looked around the group before settling on Batti.

“Truth,” he said, putting his hands up.

“Did Allie put out on the first date?”

“Tobin!” Allie shouted as Kelley and Alex laughed.

“Remember, it’s like an oath this game, you have to tell the truth.” Tobin reminded Batti. 

“No, she didn’t and I preferred it that way.” Batti kissed Allie and turned his attention to Dom. Tobin walked toward the kitchen, getting another beer.

“Hey,” Servando said walking up behind her. “You ok?”

“Yeah,” Tobin turned to him. “I’m good.”

“You’ve looked a little stressed.”

“I haven’t told them yet, but I’m seeing Shirley in a few days.”

“She’s coming here?” he asked and Tobin just stared up at him. “Oh,” he sighed. “Tobs, I'll support you no matter, what but be careful.” Tobin smiled and nodded. 

“I know,” Tobin knew Alex would’ve told Servando about the break-up. 

Tobin had finally given a fully detailed explanation to her after she’d married Servando and Tobin knew Alex would not forgive the Costa Rican for treating Tobin the way she did. Not that she blamed her, but Tobin and Shirley had talked about having a family, settling down. It was Tobin who chose to chase her dream, and Shirley had decided to stay. Tobin wouldn't blame her. She knew Shirley would’ve taken a loss in the move and it would be significant. So when she had texted that day, a few months prior, Tobin knew the door was open again.

“Sometimes I wish the biggest worry in my life was god accepting me again,” Tobin said and Servando chuckled.

“Women, can’t live with them. Wouldn’t dare to try to live without them.”

  
  
  


Then there was Shirley again and Tobin learned to trust herself.

Being with Shirley in the same city was easy. They fell right back into their normal routine as if nothing had changed. Tobin wanted to be back in Paris, she did. She wanted the future she saw with Shirley.

Things grew hard again when Tobin would return to the states, and with the world cup fast approaching, it was often. 

Tobin wrapped her arms around Shirley and kissed the woman’s forehead.

“It’s three weeks, I’ll be right back,” Tobin promised and Shirley scoffed.

“Then you’ll be gone again.”

“Shirley, it’s part of our jobs. I asked you to come with me. I asked you to join the Thorns.”

“I can’t leave the money here.”

“Can’t or won't?” Tobin asked and Shirley pushed Tobin away.

“I don’t want to live off your money.”

“I don’t want to fight right before I leave,” Tobin said and Shirley sighed.

“I don't want to either.” 

Tobin put her hands on Shirley’s hips. “How about we go to our favorite café get some lunch before I have to go?”

“How about we order take out and don’t leave bed all day?” Shirley countered and Tobin smiled.

“Sounds perfect.” Tobin kissed Shirley as they headed toward the bedroom.

x-x-x

Winning the world cup was great for Tobin. Going back to her own apartment to find Shirley waiting for her was better.

“Hey champion,” Shirley said, smirking as Tobin basically jumped the back of the couch and kissed her.

“How did you even know where I lived?” Shirley had never been to Portland.

“Allie helped a bit,” Shirley admitted, tugging at the hem of Tobin’s shirt. “Please tell me you’ve washed this?”

“I have eight,” Tobin said and Shirley laughed, of course, she did.

“So if this one ended up on the floor?”

“I’d have to do laundry in two days.” Shirley pulled the shirt over Tobin’s head. Tobin grinned as Shirley’s hands ran up her abs.

“Let me show you how much I love you,” Shirley said, pushing Tobin to the couch.

x-x-x

Tobin kissed Shirley again as she stood by the door.

“A month,” Shirley said.

“You know I can’t. You could fly here though,” Tobin said hopeful.

“I don’t have time…” Shirley kissed Tobin. “Ok, so November.”

“November,” Tobin repeated.

“Then you’ll be home.”

“Yeah,” Tobin said weakly, a false smile on her face, “home.”

“I love you, I have to go.” Shirley kissed Tobin again and was out the door.

“Home…” Tobin repeated to herself.

x-x-x

November came quickly in Tobin’s mind. The cancellation of a sponsor shoot meant she could fly in early to surprise Shirley. Which is exactly how she found herself on a flight to Paris. She sent a basket to Shirley for her birthday, trying to keep things as normal as possible as if she wasn’t going to be there.

Tobin pulled her key out to open the door to their apartment. She set her bag by the door. “Shirley?” Tobin called out and heard a thud from their bedroom. Tobin headed toward the room, she reached to open the bedroom door. The door opened quickly and Shirley shuffled out, shutting the door behind her.

“Babe, why are you here?” Tobin looked at Shirley then headed back to her bag.

“Making a mistake, I think.” Tobin grabbed her bag. She turned back to Shirley. “I love you, but I haven’t been  _ in _ love with you for a long time and I think you feel the same way,” Tobin said quickly.

“Tobin, what are you talking about? Of course, I love you,” Shirley said, running a hand down Tobin’s arm.

“We want different things in life. You won’t come to the states and I’m not leaving Portland. I’m too tired to keep traveling this far. And I’m tired of fighting.” Tobin sighed. “We aren’t meant to be.” Tobin kissed Shirley's forehead. “See you around.” Tobin opened the door and walked out.

“What? That’s it?” Shirley shouted, “you aren’t going to even try?” 

Tobin stopped and looked back at her. “Not anymore. I’ve heard it for years and didn't listen till now. We deserve better. Goodbye Shirley.” 

  
  
  


Then there was Hope and Tobin was given a lesson in tough love.

Tobin smirked at Hope as her shot sailed right by the keeper’s head.

“Watch yourself, Heath,” Hope laughed as Tobin shrugged, jogging away. Tobin gathered another ball at her feet and looked up at Christen, who was on the far side of the pitch. Tobin nodded to the ball and Christen nodded, so Tobin started down the field with it.

“Don’t even think it, Heath! I see you.” Hope shouted and Tobin glanced at Christen before sending the cross over. Christen smacked the ball, first touch, into the back of the net. Leaving Hope with her jaw hanging open.

“You helped her, Press? I thought we were friends?” Hope joked as Christen smiled at her.

“Sorry, sometimes the opportunity just arises.” Hope shook her head as their practice was called to a close. Tobin walked over to Hope.

“No hard feelings?” Tobin asked and Hope smirked before pulling Tobin closer, ruffling her hair.

“No hard feelings. Keep up the good work out there though. I like seeing more than just the forwards scoring goals.”

“Oh yeah?” Tobin asked and Hope laughed shaking her head. 

“You can shower first when we get back to the room, goal scorer.” Hope smiled at Tobin as they went to the locker room.

Tobin liked sharing a room with Hope, she tended to keep to herself, reading her book. Sometimes, she missed the liveliness of some of her friends but sometimes Hope gave the peace that she needed. Some other times, she didn’t.

“So, what happened with Cruz?” Hope asked as she walked out of the bathroom, towel drying her hair.

Tobin sighed, setting her magazine down. “We just weren’t meant to be.”

“I don’t buy that for a moment,” Hope said, sitting on the end of Tobin’s bed, “so, what happened?”

“I don’t need this to end up being like the whole team hates on her or anythin—”

“Tobin, it’s between us.”

“I went there early in November… I’m pretty sure someone else was in bed with her.”

“Pretty sure?” Hope asked and Tobin looked up at her.

“I’m sure, but I didn’t want to confirm it.” Hope moved closer to Tobin, pulling her into a hug. 

“I’m sorry Tobin, you don’t deserve that.”

“Thanks,” Tobin said.

“You swear you’re ok?”

“Yeah, I think at some point I realized I wasn’t in love with her like I thought I was… I honestly think I just liked the idea of her.” 

“Yeah?”

“Honestly, I like spending my time with the team more.” Hope smiled a little and kissed Tobin’s temple. 

“Well, we love you more too. We’d never cheat on you.” Tobin laughed.

“So what do you call what you did a practice the other day? Running out of the box to grab that ball. Grab it!”

“Oh come on! You laughed!” Hope was laughing as Tobin smiled at her. 

“I did.” Tobin smiled, a true smile, one that Hope hadn’t seen in awhile.

“Tobin… I’m going to kiss you.” 

Tobin waited for a moment, shocked at first at what Hope said. “Ok.”

Hope leaned forward, pressing her lips to Tobin’s. Tobin kissed her back quickly, nipping at Hope’s lower lip. The kiss broke and Tobin opened her eyes to look back at Hope. 

“Was that ok?” Tobin asked, moving away from Hope a bit.

“Yeah… I just… I don’t want to do something you won’t be comfortable with.”

“Hope, I’m a grown woman. I make my own choices.”

“Tobin, I don’t want you to feel guilty down the road because I’m married.”

Tobin sucked in a breath, she had forgotten about Jeramy. It wasn’t like Hope spoke of him often anymore. 

“I won’t,” Tobin said truthfully and pulled Hope by the shirt into a more aggressive kiss. Hope deepened the kiss as Tobin pulled her shirt over her head. 

x-x-x

Tobin watched as Hope walked around the room in the morning, absolutely no shame in being naked. 

“God, you are gorgeous,” Tobin said and Hope looked over her shoulder at Tobin, offering a smile around her toothbrush. 

“You aren’t bad yourself, Tobin,” Hope replied and Tobin got out of bed, wrapping her arms around Hope and kissing her back.

“Come on, let’s go again before we have to meet the team for breakfast.”

“Sorry Heath, I have to keep my energy up for practice,” Hope said, kissing Tobin’s forehead, “next time though.” Tobin groaned as she flopped back onto the bed. “I’m going to shower, you ok with that?”

“Yeah, go ahead.” Tobin sighed as she stared at the ceiling. She didn’t want a relationship with Hope, but last night was fun. There was a knock at their door pulling Tobin to her feet. She pulled a shirt and pants on as she went and opened the door. 

“Hey Chris,” Tobin smiled.

“Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to get coffee with me this morning?” Christen asked and Tobin nodded.

“Yeah, I’d love to… I need a shower first though….”

“It’s all yours,” Hope said as she walked out of the bathroom, “morning, Christen.”

“Hey Hope,” Christen said offering a smile to Hope. 

“Be like five minutes?” Tobin said ducking into the bathroom. 

“And pick up your towel this time!” Hope yelled after her.

“What was that? Leave towels everywhere? You got it!”

“Just hurry up, you dork,” scolded Hope, “you’re keeping Christen waiting.”

“Fine,” said Tobin, shutting the door.

“And as for you miss heart eyes, are you ev—” came Hope’s voice right as Tobin clicked the door shut.

  
  
  


Then there was Christen, and Tobin never wanted to kiss anyone else ever again.

Kissing Christen that first time was life-changing for Tobin. Sitting there in the coffee shop in some far-flung town that neither of them had ties to. The way Christen had just turned to Tobin as they stood in line waiting for their chance to order that morning. How Christen’s lips had molded perfectly to Tobin’s, how the rest of the world had completely melted away as she wrapped her arms around Christen’s waist pulling her closer. Tobin smiled as the kiss broke, her eyes still closed as their foreheads met. Tobin could feel the warm puffs of Christen’s breath against her lips still. 

“Wow,” Tobin said softly, hearing Christen chuckle lightly. She opened her eyes to meet Christen’s warm caramel eyes looking back at her. “Um… where did that come from?” Tobin asked. “Not that I didn’t like it… cause I think I loved i—” Tobin was cut off as Christen kissed her again. 

“Sorry… you were rambling.” Christen smiled. “So, did you want to get dinner this week?”

“Yeah… yeah, I think that’d be a great idea.” Tobin grinned.

x-x-x

Four years later, Tobin wasn’t sure if she could wait for the priest to say those five words. The few words she could count on a single hand that would mark that her life had changed for the better, forever. Tobin smiled as Christen squeezed her hands. 

“You may kiss the bride,” the priest said and Tobin stepped into Christen and kissed her for what must’ve been just another added to the countless number they had shared previously but this one filled Tobin with even more warmth than the others had. Christen smiled into the kiss, effectively breaking it as the crowd cheered. They turned together to their family and friends. 

“I give you, Mrs. and Mrs. Tobin Heath-Press,” the priest said and the room cheered again. Tobin looked around the room for a moment. Their whole team was there. Alex sat with Servando, their daughter in his lap. Kelley sat next to Hope, Ali and Ash sat together with Whitney and her husband, Ryan. She was glad to have her friends there to support her. Christen squeezed her hand again and Tobin looked over at her.

“You ready?” Christen asked and Tobin pulled her close again. Tobin kissed her softly, trying to convey as much love as she was currently feeling into the movement of her lips. 

“More than ready.” Tobin grinned, she never wanted to kiss another person in the world because she found the love of her life.

  
  
  


Then there was Ava, and Tobin realized she had been wrong.

Holding Ava in her arms opened a whole new world for Tobin. The tiny girl with light brown eyes that matched her mother’s, who just stared up at her with wonder and love in those same eyes. Tobin realized she had been wrong, the last person she is in love with to kiss would be Christen. The person she loved and kissed would be her children. Tobin would be kissing her children every day for the rest of her life if she could.

“Tobin,” Christen whispered as Tobin walked around the small hospital room. Ava was wrapped tightly in her blanket as Tobin wandered around the room, rocking her in her strong arms. “Tobin, we should let her sleep on her own.”

“I can’t help it,” Tobin said as she walked over to the bed where her wife laid. Tobin laid down next to her, showing Christen the sweet girl in her arms. “Just look at that face, Chris. Look how cute she is.” Tobin cooed and Christen smiled, pulling Tobin down into a kiss. 

“I know she is, but Tobin please put her down so she sleeps.” Tobin kissed Christen again before setting Ava down in the bassinet next to them. She leaned down and kissed the sleeping girl’s forehead. 

“Mama loves you, sweet girl,” whispered Tobin before she pulled Christen into her arms. Christen craned her neck and kissed Tobin. 

“I love you,” Christen said and Tobin smiled kissing Christen again.

“I love you too, so much.” 


End file.
